Last night before I went to sleep I had to pee but didn’t out of sheer laziness. I like to challenge my body and exercise my soft muscle tissue by holding it in when I can, so that I can perform when the time really comes and I desperately need to go #1 but can’t just yet. Nighttime Gary will do anything to not be bothered, even if it means screwing over morning Gary.
I went to sleep with what was not yet a full bladder, but I definitely know enough about my body that I knew it would be full before morning came. Sure enough, 5am rolls around and I wake up ready to burst as I had predictably ignored and ignored predictably. Though this was expected, I did not expect the crazy dreams that my brain conjured to alert me to the urgency.
As a little kid, if I had a dream in which I was peeing, it meant that I would be waking up in a puddle and it was already too late by the time I realized that I was pee-dreaming. Now in my more controllable state of mind, my brain and body have a better relationship, so I was able to wake myself up during a pee dream on time and as follows was my series of three dreams that alerted me to my waking needs, each more intense than the last.
I was on my way back to school with all of my clothes and things, but just before my dad and I left the driveway, I went inside the house to pee. This dream was the full deal of me doing a regular #1 no different than usual. This was not hint enough for me to wake up.
After the tank was emptied from that dream, I was ready to leave, when the sudden feeling of a full bladder came to me yet again for the next dream. I thought this was weird but just went to work at it anyway. This time I was not going in the toilet, but all over my shoes. I have a shoe rack with six varying pairs of footwear in real life that I was wetting all over in my dream and I could not do anything about it. This was not hint enough to me still.
Third dream was me putting my pants back on after dream two, getting in the car, and driving off to school. On the way there, my dad took a strange turn which led us through the snowy woods with a frozen lake approaching in the distance. Panic started to set in, and of course as dreams go he would not respond to me, becoming eerily robotic and silent. Sure enough, he drives out onto the ice, which is thin, but does not immediately break through. About half way out into the lake, the ice stops but he keeps driving. “Its okay” he whispered. I was calm while we nose dived in slow motion into the ice water. I opened the passenger side door as quickly as possible. I worried momentarily about my belongings in the back seat soon to be destroyed, and I worried about why my dad went whack so unexpectedly, but my main focus quickly shifted to my father who was not moving from the seat despite his impending cold doom. I was now in the freezing water, and the car was halfway sunk, but he, though alive and well, was still not moving. Only then did I become so scared that I woke up and admitted defeat to my own bladder.